


Worse Plans Than This Have Succeeded

by moonblooch



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Descriptions of Anxiety, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mentions of Character Death, Other, Sharing a Bed, Tags and Ratings may change, WIP, alternating pov, caleb's backstory, fluff in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-09-27 14:03:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17163308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonblooch/pseuds/moonblooch
Summary: Molly escapes a second grave, but he can only outrun his past for so long. In an attempt to throw Cree off the scent again, he spins a story about leaving his old life behind and has to fake an engagement to provide proof.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As ever, I do not own Critical Role or any of the characters or concepts herein.

There was a storm over Nicodranas when the impossible happened. Caleb would have called it unthinkable had he not spent many of their nights at sea turning the question of ‘what if’ over and over in his mind.

They were back ostensibly to visit Jester’s mother and check in on Nugget, but also to put their minds to rest as to whether they had crippled the city. Possibly to investigate the shrinking tower as well, but it wasn’t a priority for the others. Marion Lavorre was just as gracious a host as the last time, telling them that she had nearly broken act and rushed from the stage to greet them. She had flung her arms around Jester as soon as they were alone, despite the fact that Jester currently looked like a lizard person, before immediately launching into a tirade about how worried she was about all of them after the incident at the docks.

Jester had begun to regale her with their most recent round of escapades when it happened. The others remained largely silent, since they hadn’t actually discussed which near-death experiences it would be advisable to tell her about and Jester’s rambling would give them time to come up with excuses. But Jester had only got as far as describing their first encounter with Avantica when Blude entered the room.

“Excuse me ma’am.” He addressed Marion, interrupting a particularly scathing comment on Avantica’s eyes. “There’s a guy outside who wants to speak to you. No money on him. I would have followed usual procedure but he asked after Jester.”

Marion’s hands tightened in Nugget’s fur.

“Jester, who have you told?”

“Only these guys mama, I promise.” She made the gesture of crossing her heart then turned to Blude. “Did he say anything else?”

“Nothing that made any sense.” Blude shrugged as he drew something from his waistcoat pocket. “He presented this as proof he was trustworthy, said to ignore the blood.”

He held up a card. It had been creased, battered and was clearly going soft at the edges. Yet despite this and it’s now blurry ink, it unmistakably depicted a crescent moon.

“What does he look like?” Jester asked in a rush.

“Tiefling, purple skin, red eyes.” Blude listed off. “You know him?”

Whilst the room had fallen silent at the card the air itself seemed to still. The seconds crawled by before Caleb found himself speaking up.

“Is there any way you can bring him up without being seen?”

Blude turned to Marion, who looked to the group.

“Is he safe?” she asked.

“If he’s who we think he is.” Jester replied, biting her lip.

“I mean we hope it’s Molly, right?” Fjord said.

“If it’s not him then it’s some bastard who’s robbed his grave.” Beau replied, “Either way we need to talk to him.”

Nott’s cloak twitched to one side, revealing her crossbow. “Mrs Lavorre, do you have anywhere we can hide a body?”

Marion’s eyebrows shot upwards. “Well yes, of course, but I would rather you didn’t kill anyone in here.”

“Bad for business.” Blude concurred.

“We could do it in my room,” Jester suggested. “Nobody goes back there, right?”

“What if it is not Mollymauk?” Caleb asked, bringing up a thought that had to be said eventually. “Not someone who stole his stuff either, the person he was before. Lucien.”

“Then we ask him some questions, see if he’s as shitty as Molly thinks he is, and if he is that shitty we tie him up and beat the Molly back into him.” Jester said, summoning her lollipop and letting it hover.

“Uh, Ms Lavorre,” Fjord began.

“Marion, please.”

“Right. You might want to wait here for this, if we’re doing this in another room.” He looked around the others for confirmation.

“It’s not him.” Caduceus, who had remained strangely silent up to this point. “This Molly’s the friend you buried?”

“Yes.” Fjord ventured slowly.

“I set something to grow there. I don’t want to be crass, but he wouldn’t still be in one piece after this long.”

“So we have a thief then.” Caleb unbuckled one of his books and began to leaf through it for anything of use. “They may have found us from the note.”

Marion sighed. “Best to bring them up Blude. And Jester?”

“Yes mama?”

“Don’t make a big mess in your room? Please?”

The Mighty Nein traipsed through the small passage which led from Marion’s quarters to Jester’s, the shadows of a lost friend hanging over them. In silence they arranged themselves around the door, weapons raised.

They waited.

Footsteps came down the hallway towards them.

“What if it is him though?” Jester’s voice, sounding smaller than it had in a long while, broke the still air.

“Then we don’t let him die again.” Beau replied through gritted teeth.

The door inched open, slowed by the thick tension in the air. A person stepped through, gently shutting the door before turning to face them.

“Well I don’t know what I was expecting, but I don’t think it was this.” the person who looked like Molly said. “Hello again everyone.”

“Caduceus, do that thing you did with Jamedi!”

“That’ll take a moment Nott.”

Beau raised her fists. “Do it.”

“That’s reasonable but I don’t know how much time we have.” Maybe-Molly raised both hands in front of him.

“We buried you Molly!” Beau cried. “We saw you die and we buried you in that fucking hill wrapped in your dumbass tapestry with no hope of resurrection. Don’t get me wrong; I want it to be you, but every logical conclusion is telling me you’re just some sick fuck wearing the face of a dead friend. I can’t leave something like that to chance.”

Caleb felt his brow crease. “What do you mean we do not have time?”

“Some stuff happened with the gentleman.” Maybe-Molly waved a hand, freezing abruptly as weapons trained on the movement.

“What are some things only Molly would know?” Fjord asked, holding his hands out. “Maybe that’s a gentler way of going about things.”

“Okay,” Maybe-Molly pointed at him, “we _definitely_ don’t have time for that.”

“It’s better than nothing.” Beau pointed out. “Besides even if he is undead he might still be Molly. Anything only he would know?”

“Why did you pin me to a wall?” Caleb regretted the question almost as soon as he asked it. Everyone had fallen quiet again.

“Oh my goodness why did you?” Jester asked, her eyes like saucers.

Beau shifted her stance. “Stay on task guys.”

“I am.” Caleb said as Jester made a noise of protestation.

Maybe-Molly shook his head. “You were skimming from the bodies, I told you to either get less obvious or share. If you want specifics I don’t think my memory’s good enough for that.”

“That right Caleb?” Fjord asked, turning back to Molly when Caleb nodded. “When did that happen?”

“Back in Zadash, after that fuck-off-huge spider.”

“Didn’t listen to that then did you Caleb?”

Caleb managed to restrain himself from dropping the Magic Missile which was curling around his fingers in order to flip Fjord off, but only barely.

“He’s not undead.” Caduceus’ voice cut through the tension and all eyes turned to him.

“I said it would only take a moment.” He narrowed his eyes, “definitely not undead, but I’m getting kind of a weird vibe? Something’s not right but he’s alive.”

“Thank you dear.” Molly’s shoulders relaxed and he held out a hand. “I don’t believe I caught your name by the way. Mollymauk Tealeaf at your service.”

Caduceus looked down at the hand but did not take it, his fingers instead tightening around his staff. “Caduceus Clay. Funny coincidence, but ‘tealeaf’ is exactly what you should be right now.”

“I don’t follow.”

“He makes tea out of dead people.” Jester chipped in.

“As far as I know he did that to your body too, so you’ll forgive the caution.” Fjord said, still not having dropped his falchion. “Anyone want to check if this thing’s an illusion?”

Caleb dropped his spell, pulled out a book and began muttering the incantation for Detect Magic before he even reached the page it was on.

“In the meantime Molly,” Beau cut in, “how the fuck are you alive?”

“No idea. Same as last time.” Molly offered a small shrug.

“First thing I remember is digging my way out of a pile of dirt, although the snow was a nice change, helped clean off a bit. I couldn’t remember at first. Not empty like last time, thank the Weaver, but it took quite a bit to get it all back. I might have got some of the other guy back as well, there’s more freaky blood stuff up here;” he tapped a horn, “than there was when I died. And I read the note; that helped.”

“At least you got it.” Nott said. “We were worried it was going to dissolve.”

“Yes but,” Molly began before stopping himself, “where’s Yasha? She’d get this. You did get her out didn’t you?”

“We did, but she ‘Yashaed’ a few days ago.” Nott replied.

“Now of all times. The thing is I can’t, _couldn’t,_ ” Molly corrected himself, “I couldn’t read before I died.”

“You couldn’t?” Jester asked.

Molly shook his head. “Two years; not enough time to learn apparently. Everyone with the carnival was either too busy or couldn’t read Common. I’d get letters on their own, sometimes a word if I thought about it enough but never sentences. Except when I found the note it mostly made sense. Didn’t get ‘Beau’ for a while, but in my defence it’s a stupid spelling.”

“I’m not taking that from somebody called Mollymauk!” Beau protested.

“Nor would I.” Molly replied. “Have you figured out that I’m real yet Caleb?”

The familiar haze of Detect Magic washed over Caleb’s vision and he honed in on Molly. There was nothing overtly malicious; nothing much at all in fact beyond the residue that clung to most people. He chanced a look around the rest of the group. None were under any magic, no Suggestion, no Friends, no Control Person. Just the sparkle of the magic from their items, which lit up the room like beacons.

“All checks out, he is not an illusion or disguised with magic. He is not being tracked either.” Caleb said, mostly to Fjord whose fingers were still tightly curled around the hilt of the falchion.

Jester hurled her arms around Molly, hugging him hard enough to lift him from the floor.

“Jester!”

“Definitely real!” Jester said with a grin. “Welcome home Molly!”

Beau dropped from her defensive stance and moved to join them, slinging her awkward arms around Molly’s shoulders for a moment before drawing back and landing a solid punch on his arm.

“What was that for?”

“Don’t ever do that again you self-sacrificial asshole!”

“You know the fact that I died for you would put most people off punching me, but I’ll take it.” He gestured to Jester, who was still wrapped around his waist. “Anyone want to get in on this? Caduceus? You look like you’re good at hugs.”

Fjord released the falchion. “You said something happened with the gentleman?”

“Right, that.” Molly acknowledged, releasing Jester. “Now before you judge me too harshly for this, bear in mind that I _had_ only _just_ got my memory back and was _very_ tired from travelling.

“Go on.”

“Cree started pressing me for details about the other guy, how I’d managed to come back twice and why I hadn’t contacted the _others_ yet so I panicked, and can I just say I had had quite a bit to drink at this point, but I told her I had left it all behind me.”

“Well that’s not so bad.” Said Fjord.

“Specifically I told her that I had met the love of my life, who made me realise that my former lifestyle held no meaning, and joined their party. She was rather confused and she asked me for proof so I, and this is the part I’m asking you not to overreact to, I invited her to my wedding which I said would be happening as soon as I’d confirmed to you all that I wasn’t dead.”

Silence.

“So essentially, Nott,” he turned to her and knelt, “I’m asking for your blessing to marry Caleb.”

A crossbow bolt hit the wall, hairs width from the current height of Molly’s head. Caleb blinked; he hadn’t even seen Nott raise the crossbow it had happened so quickly.

“Well, I’ve seen worse reactions to a proposal.”

“You had better explain yourself right the fuck now Mollymauk Tealeaf, or the next one of these goes between your eyes!” Nott’s eyes were wild and wide, her voice cracking from the strain of not full out screeching. “What are your intentions with my boy?”

“Nothing!” Molly protested. “That’s why it’s got to be him.”

“Why can’t it be one of the others?”

“Do I really have to go through the list?” Molly groaned.

Nott clicked a second bolt into place.

“Ugh fine.” Molly held up a hand and began counting down on his fingers. “Caduceus wouldn’t work because I’ve known him for all of five minutes, Yasha isn’t here and I can’t keep up the lie if she wanders off halfway through the honeymoon. Fjord’s too awkward, Jester might want to reveal the joke, and between the four people I just listed they’re all attractive enough that it might get weird. Much as I love you I don’t think Cree would buy this Lucien bastard falling head over heels for a goblin, which leaves Beau, and frankly I’m not convinced she could pull it off.”

“Beau’s actually a pretty good actor.” Jester piped up. “You should have seen her a when we first came here when –”

Beau clapped her hand over Jester’s mouth. “Ixnay on the acytray, alright? Molly doesn’t need to know about that.”

“Molly absolutely needs to know about that.” Molly said, chancing a look away from Nott’s crossbow to shoot Beau a wicked grin.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I missed you, you ass-hole.” Beau groaned. “But yeah, Nott, I don’t think I can pull out the big guns if Cree’s already met me.”

“Then she dies.”

Nott’s crossbow clicked as she loaded yet another bolt into it and made for the door. Caleb shook himself out of his stupor and grabbed her by the hood of her cloak.

“Nott, I do not mind.” He winced as everyone else turned to look at him, but continued, “If I am the only option then I will do it. Better than angering the person with our blood. We do not know how powerful she is.”

“Are you sure Caleb?” Jester asked. “I mean if you don’t want to we could maybe ask my mom.”

“Nein.” Caleb shook his head. “We are infringing greatly on her hospitality as it is.”

“I guess we’d probably have to pay her too.” Jester conceded.

“How are our coffers looking Jessie?” Beau asked.

“Not great.”

“Look, I will do it.” Caleb cut back in. “Though I do not know how long we can convince her for Mollymauk, I am so far above of your league after all.” He tried for a smile.

Molly barked a laugh. “Believe me my dear, that is the least of our concerns if she can do half the stuff I think she can.”

“Where is Cree right now?” Fjord interrupted, dropping the falchion, letting it dissipate.

“Right. I managed to get a head start on her, she had to finish up a few things for the Gentleman first. I agreed to meet her outside the city before we both went in to meet you. Since you mentioned that I’m not being tracked, I was hoping we could stage a tearful reunion.”

Caleb nodded. “Best to start strong, I agree. If I am throwing myself at you right out of the gate we stand a better chance.”

“Bit eager there Caleb?” Cauceus asked.

“I have done this sort of thing before, best to overdo it.” Caleb replied, trying his hardest not to compare this to missions he had undertaken in the past. “On a scale of Fjord to Beau how is everybody at improvising?”

“I’m okay I think.” Nott said, prompting a nod of agreement from Jester.

“In acting?” Caduceus asked. “Could be better.”

“Then I will lead in this instance,” Caleb brushed his hair back and paused for long enough to articulate his thoughts, “my plan for the moment is that when you show up I will cast detect magic, then be disbelieving, then go all out. I need you to react as if I am your one true love.”

“I can do that.” Molly replied.

“Gut.” Caleb turned to the others. “I will need a set of clean clothes and a razor, a mirror, perhaps some scissors. Definitely a bath, can we get those tonight?”

Jester was the first to nod, gesturing to a small door next to the wardrobe. “There’s a bathroom through there. No hot water though. And I don’t think we have the right kind of clothes for you.”

“We could find some, right?” Beau asked. “When’s Cree getting here?”

“Hopefully not before tomorrow.” Molly replied, tail lashing back and forth in an anxious manner. “I really need to get going soon if I want to catch her.”

“You have got to meet my mom first though.” Jester grabbed his arm. “And can we invite her to the wedding? It’s going to be so much fun. You’re going to let me officiate right?”

“Honestly I hadn’t thought that far, Caleb?”

“Why not?” Caleb shrugged in an attempt to give the outward appearance of indifference. He had his own reasons for not wanting his name in any court or temple records, not that the others needed to know that. “Does the Traveller do that sort of thing?”

Jester nodded enthusiastically. “He says He does, but nobody’s ever done one in His name before, so it will be really, really cool if we can do that.”

“He’s okay with this?” Fjord asked. “Y’know, it being fake and all?”

“He actually thinks that it’s super funny.”

“Well He would, wouldn’t He?” Beau said, shoving Caleb towards the bathroom. “C’mon buddy let’s get you cleaned up.”


	2. Chapter 2

As Beau marched Caleb towards the door which had been labelled ‘bathroom’, Jester grabbed Molly’s arm to pull him down the corridor out of the room.

“You’ve got to meet my mom, we need to tell her you’re safe.” At his look of confusion she waved a hand. “Not like you’re not in danger, but like you’re safe to be around.”

“Ah, sure.” He replied giving her a shaky smile. “Wait, Fjord, Mister Clay. When Caleb comes out, tell him the safe word is anything to do with fire.”

Fjord’s eyebrows shot up, which was to be expected if his memory served. A slow grin spread over Caduceus’ face. This was less expected, and the first smile Molly had seen him give. Either he had wildly misjudged him, or Caduceus had been spending a lot of time with Jester.

“Anyway,” Jester drawled, looping her tail around Molly’s and steering him out of the room, “you’re really going to like my mom.”

Molly thought back to the handful of songs he had heard about the Ruby of the Sea. Each one undoubtedly horseshit, but it would have been nice to think that there was a grain of truth to them and that he wasn’t walking in completely unprepared. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted when Jester shoved him into something solid.

“Oh! I’m sorry Blude.” She exclaimed as the solid thing stepped backwards, revealing itself to be the minotaur who had marched Molly up to the room earlier. “Can you take us to mom? I want to introduce her to Molly.”

“He’s not going to try anything?” Blude grunted, fixing Molly with the kind of stare that he could have only dreamed of perfecting in his days as a bouncer.

“No, of course not.” Jester waved a dismissive hand. “He wouldn’t want to anyways, he just got engaged!”

“Huh, congratulations.” Blude rumbled, turning down the corridor and leading them around a corner. From his experience of being unceremoniously bundled to the back of the building Molly knew that the alternative path led outside, but this new route was taking them deeper into the building.

When they reached a dead end Blude knocked on the wooden panel in front of them. “All safe ma’am.”

There was a click and light spilled along the edge of the wall.

“Stay back here a second.” Jester whispered to Molly before elbowing her way into the room. “Hey mom, would you like to meet Molly?”

Her tail hooked itself around Molly’s arm and yanked, pulling him stumbling into the room beyond the door. He blinked for a few seconds eyes adjusting to the lamp light, and when they finally did he was confronted, at last with the Ruby of the Sea.

Her horns were polished to a glass-like shine, adorning her head like a crown which befitted her regal posture. Her golden eyes gave off a faint glow even above the well-lit room, pinning him in place. She was wearing a simple robe with a clumsily woven shawl wrapped around her shoulders, but this did nothing to detract from her devastating beauty. The songs really hadn’t done her justice.

Then again, he had thought that the last time he had seen her.

“Mom,” Jester said, drawing her gaze, “this is Molly. He wasn’t here last time because he kind of died but Caduceus checked and he’s not undead or anything so he’s safe to stay here with us right?”

“Most certainly.” The Ruby’s mouth pulled itself into a sly smile as she honed in on Molly. “It is an honour to have you back, your majesty.”

Jester’s tail tightened uncomfortably around his arm.

“Molly, you didn’t–ʺ

“No!” he waved his hands when Jester’s tail tightened even further, “not that it wouldn’t be an honour ma’am, but I was with the Carnival at the time. You remember what I told you about how I joined the Carnival Jester?”

Jester’s tail loosened its grip.

“Thank you dear.” Molly said, flexing his fingers. “Last time we came through Nicodranas, I was still learning to speak. For some reason, I’m fairly sure it was some kind of bet, we decided our gimmick for that run of the show was that I was going to be foreign royalty who was so important that I wouldn’t talk to anyone but my attendants, who were being played by the others.”

“And it worked?” Jester asked, wide eyed.

“It worked. Naturally we demanded board and the finest entertainment in the city and we were shown here, to see your mother perform.”

“They were a very, ah, lively audience if I recall.” The Ruby said, still smiling.

Taking this as his cue Molly bowed, low enough that he had to hold his tail out for balance.

“Ma’am I cannot thank you enough for your hospitality or for allowing me to be in your presence once more. Allow me to introduce myself properly.” He straightened up and held out a hand. “Mollymauk Tealeaf, formerly of the Fletching and Moondrop Travelling Carnival of Curiosities and currently of the Mighty Nein, at your service.”

“There is no need for such formalities. Call me Marion, please.” She inclined her head. “And I believe I owe you some thanks; you have kept my daughter safe in your time with her. Hospitality in return for such kindness is no burden to me.”

Molly gave her a smile which he hoped wasn’t too grim and nodded. “Well we try our best.”

“So mom,” Jester interjected, “Molly’s here because he’s got engaged.”

“So you have finally found a worthy consort?” Marion asked.

“Not quite.” Molly said. “The engagement itself won’t be happening ‘til tomorrow.”

“Oooooh, are you telling Caleb that?” Jester was practically bouncing.

“It’s a surprise.”

Technically true; they had discussed precious few details about the plan so far (then again planning hadn’t made a great deal of difference in the past). Caleb knew about the safe word, so if a proposal was too much too soon then he could say and Molly would back down. But if there was anything he had learned from the Fletching and Moondrop, it was that people loved a show, and even more than that they loved a story. Lovers reunited after one was believed dead was a time tested tale and guaranteed to tug on one’s heartstrings.

They needed to go big; proposing was going big.

“So you have to keep it secret Jester, can you do that?”

Jester nodded, turning back to Marion.

“I was going to ask you mom, can they get married here?”

“I, I’m not sure about that Jester.” Marion glanced at Blude who remained impassive. “This is not really that kind of venue.”

“But I can’t take them to a temple mom, the Traveller doesn’t have any yet and he says doing a wedding will help me be a really good cleric.”

“I see. Blude, is the old function room available?”

“Nothing booked for three weeks from now.” He rumbled in response.

“Wonderful.” Molly clapped his hands. “I understand this seems like a bit of a rush, but dying a few times really gives life a new value.”

“I imagine that it would.” Marion replied. “We can provide rooms as before, only three I am afraid. And the function room, for the wedding.”

“Weaver bless you Marion.” Molly took another bow. “I hope that you can forgive me but I have to run; there’s an old acquaintance I’m meeting outside town in the morning.”

“By all means. Blude, would you mind showing our guest out?”

Blude nodded and began towards the door.

“Wait, Molly,” Jester called, “where are you meeting us?”

He gave it a second of thought. Best if he didn’t know exactly where to find them; Cree might pick up on that. Any misstep and, well, she still had their blood.

“I don’t know the city that well. Stay somewhere open, I’ll find you before the end of the day.”

֍

“So Lucien, what’s the plan?”

They were stood inside the gates to Nicodranas. It was late afternoon, and though the day was still overcast the storm of the previous night had apparently dissipated.

“Now, Cree, we find them.” Molly replied, trying his hardest to imitate what he thought Lucien would have sounded like. Probably an asshole. Probably the kind of asshole who seemed like an asshole at first, then became a sweetheart as you got to know them, but was secretly still an asshole.

Weaver above he hated acting. Performing, _performing_ he could do. Fortunes and acrobatics and selling tickets; with those people knew you weren’t sincere, they were willing to give you a certain amount of slack. This though…

“Do you still have their blood dear?” he asked, hoping that the fragments of the other guy which had caught onto him as he scraped his way out of the ground weren’t misleading him.

“Should I track your,” she seemed stuck on the word, “your beloved?”

“No, not yet.” There was still time to switch partners if Caleb couldn’t act as well as Molly needed him to. He couldn’t pin a name to anyone yet. “Try tracking Beauregard.”

Cree nodded, and pulled a phial from her bag and uncorked it, swirling the contents then giving it a deep sniff as if it were fine wine. She closed her eyes for a second, nostrils flaring. When they flicked back open, her pupils honed in to slits.

“This way.” She began down the street in front of them.

The phial was still in her hand, not even corked.

Molly had a dangerous idea.

“Cree my darling, may I see that blood?”

Her ears flattened slightly.

“Is something the matter Lucien? I know you don’t like it when I track with scent, but it really is more efficient this way.”

Gods, Lucien really was a bastard.

“It isn’t that I don’t like it dear, but it may prevent you from maintaining your impeccable skill at other forms of tracking.” Molly said, hoping that he was angling in the right direction. “We can’t have that now can we?”

She handed the phial and its cork to him and he held it aloft, turning it this way and that as if looking for something in it, then pocketed it.

“We should be on our way, we wouldn’t want you to lose the scent now, would we?”

He began to walk down the street ahead of her, forcing his tail to calm its anxious lashing into something more natural. He heard hurried footsteps behind him.

“Lucien, I need that blood back.” Cree said in hushed tones, glancing furtively around them to ensure that no passers-by had heard.

Molly did his best to seem surprised.

“I do apologise; force of habit.”

He held the phial back out to her, waiting for her to reach out and take it.

The thing about fortune telling, at least the way Molly had been taught to do it, was that it required sleight of hand. A few artful twists or a fumble thrown into the shuffle helped to sell the idea that the cards were choosing themselves. A fumble in particular worked well; one could play it off as the cards being lively, or appear to be too inexperienced to be getting a decent read on the customer. The trick to this of course was to allow one’s fingers to slip at exactly the right moment.

And with that, the phial shattered against the cobblestones.

“No!” Cree leapt back, fur bristling. “Oh gods above the Gentleman –”

“Let me worry about him,” Molly said, “though I still fail to understand why you associate with such a person.”

“I know Lucien, I’m sorry; he has connections.”

“Oh I’m certain he does, I can’t fault you for taking advantage of that, but he must be difficult to tolerate for as long as you have my dear.”

He set off walking again, purposefully striding down the street, keeping a careful eye on Cree and the subtle changes in direction she made, trying to step in each direction before she had a chance to. To make it look as if he was the one leading them.

They eventually came to a stop at the mouth of an alleyway which opened into a small square, almost closer to being a courtyard. Molly had heard their voices before he reached the end. They were clustered around a table outside what appeared to be one of the classier taverns.

Then, as if the gods themselves were conspiring to make this situation as difficult as possible, a beam of sunlight broke the clouds, landing on the group. Molly was hardly one to turn down a divine wingman, but they certainly couldn’t have picked a worse time; as Caleb threw his head back in laughter at something that a tortle, who was presumably Jester, was showing him in her sketchbook, hair catching the light in a way that made it seem to glow. It hardly helped that Caleb was dressed somewhat respectably; whilst he still had the weathered book holsters slung around his torso he had abandoned the coat from hell in favour of a dark green one which almost swept the floor. Underneath that he seemed to be wearing a waistcoat and slacks which, while not a perfect fit, clung to his figure far more flatteringly than his usual attire.

It was occurring to Molly, very quickly, that this was a bad idea.

Caleb leant back in to the table, gesturing to the book with a comment that he couldn’t hear from this distance which prompted a giggle from Jester and what might have been a smirk from Beau (meaning that the Nine Hells must have been getting chilly because she had seemed incapable of such a feat when he last saw her). He seemed to light up as bright as he had in Hupperdook.

This was a _terrible_ idea.

He wasn’t certain how long he had been dead, not that it was a topic he was keen to bring up, but it had clearly been long enough for the others to change. Seeing them like this, in daylight and looking so natural without him stung. He may have only spent about a month with them, but he couldn’t help but feel uncannily close to them even now.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he stepped forward and called out.

“Well. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a group of people more in need of a good time in my entire life.”

All eyes turned to him, and he was treated to a full spectrum of reactions.

Nott readied her crossbow, Beau reached for her staff, both reasonable responses. Caduceus had no apparent reaction beyond a vaguely confused expression. Fjord seemed to have just frozen, which left Molly to wonder how exactly he had survived before he met Jester if this was how he reacted to a surprise.

“Molly?” Jester was the first to speak, a soft utterance which nearly died completely in the air between them. She gently set her notebook down on the table and reached for Caleb, both of her hands finding his which squeezed hers back for a moment before he stood. Caleb took two halting steps forward, fear written over his features.

Molly mirrored him, taking a few steps.

“Stop.”

Caleb’s voice held the slightest tremor.

“Mein licht, if that is you, please, I,” he was thumbing through one of his books with tears in his eyes, there was no way Cree couldn’t be convinced by now, “I must be certain.”

Molly inclined his head.

“By all means my love, I made you wait long enough.”

Caleb took a sharp breath and the glowing film of magic washed over his eyes as he stared straight at Molly, muttering something. He continued muttering as he stepped forward, squinting and assessing the two people in front of him. He stepped closer, closer then closer again until Molly could have reached out and touched him. He held back, instead taking in how Caleb now looked.

Caleb was clean shaven, freckles far more prominent than the last time he had seen him in that state. His hair was longer, long enough to brush his shoulders, but appeared to have finally been brushed and now practically shone. He had a scar on his cheek, barely visible but evidence of what must have been a particularly rough wound at one point. Every member of the group now seemed to sport new scars, and that was another conversation Molly was not looking forward to. Just how much had he missed?

The magic finally faded from Caleb’s eyes and he flung himself into Molly’s arms, letting out a choked sob, sending them both staggering backwards.

“Easy there love, I’m not going anywhere.” Molly stroked Caleb’s hair.

“How?” Caleb stammered, really selling it. “How are you alive?”

“Luck, I think, sheer, dumb luck.” Molly replied, pressing a kiss to Caleb’s forehead. He added, “That and the fact that I don’t think even death would be stupid enough to separate us.”

Caleb gave a wet sounding laugh.

“Now is not the time for flirting Mollymauk Tealeaf.” He said, pulling back, eyes pinning Molly in place despite the artifice.

“Are you sure? Because when you full-name me like that,” Molly curled his tail around Caleb’s waist and gave a squeeze then lowered his voice, “you give me a _very_ different impression.”

Caleb managed a blush in response to this, but still shoved his tail off, his face morphing into a fierce expression.

“Nein, Molly. You died.” His voice rose as he spoke. “You cannot just waltz back to us and expect all to be well! How long have you even been above ground?”

Shit, an argument. Molly hadn’t prepared for this eventuality, and he wasn’t sure what angle Caleb was going for with this. He did his best to still his twitching tail; Lucien wouldn’t worry about this.

“Truth told I don’t know my spark. There was a while when I didn’t even know who I was.”

At the word ‘spark’, Caleb gave him a tiny nod. His shoulders abruptly slumped, a complete submissive shift.

“You left me.” Caleb’s voice cracked and Molly abruptly understood the angle he was going for; he couldn’t nod after a statement like that but he got it. Caleb continued; “you rushed in like a fool and you left me behind. I buried you. You promised, we promised each other,” he cut himself off, pointedly looking away, either having run out of words or trying to sell the emotion. Regardless, Molly took this as his cue. Placing his hand on Caleb’s cheek, he steeled himself.

“I know my love, I can only ask forgiveness for breaking that promise.”

He reached up to one of his horns, taking one of the bands from near the end and twisting, gently threading it off the tip. He took a step back, mentally commending Caleb for the hand which reached for him then was hastily withdrawn, then knelt. He shot a brief glance to Cree, who miraculously seemed to be buying it.

“And if you can bring yourself to forgive me, I have another promise to make.” He held the band up.

Save for the one man who had proposed during one of the Fletching and Moondrop’s shows, which had seemed like an unfair amount of pressure to place on the propose-ee but they hadn’t been in a position to turn down the cash at the time, Molly hadn’t actually seen a proposal in person. He could only guess that he was doing this right.

Caleb’s hands flew to his mouth.

“Molly –”

“Caleb Widogast,” he interrupted, “I never want us to be separated again. Will you marry me?”

He nearly had enough time to curse himself for the way he phrased the proposal before he was bowled over. Caleb locked eyes with him for the briefest moment before wrapping his arms over Molly’s shoulders and pulling him into a deep kiss. Slightly clumsy, it was chaste given the context, but anything more involved would have pulled their circumstances abruptly into ‘uncomfortable’ territory.

“Yes.” Caleb said as they pulled apart. “Of course mein licht, how could I say no?”

Molly leaned in for another kiss, reasoning that it would be an appropriate response, but was interrupted by a coughing sound.

“So like,” came Jester’s voice, “when you guys are done being gross can I get a hug too?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks; forgot to put the notes here when I first published this chapter, but happy 2019!
> 
> Also saddle up for a bit of angst next chapter, that will be going up once I've written chapter 4 which might take a bit longer as I had a good section of chapter 3 written when I put up chapter 1.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your comments and kudos. I'm trying to hold fire on replying to comments until I've posted a new chapter, just in case there's a long wait between, but rest assured all of them mean the world to me and I really can't thank you enough.
> 
> Hopefully see you soon :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cree is described as having paws because Face Cat and Hand Dog were discussed but Hand Cat was very much Not An Option.

As Molly was swarmed by the others, exchanging hugs and shoulder pats, Caleb turned to Cree.

“My apologies for ignoring you my friend, I was a little, ah,” he held up the band and gave what he hoped was a convincing smile, “preoccupied.”

“No, by all means.” Cree raised her paws.

Caleb tried the band on his ring finger, finding it slightly too large. The ring had been unexpected. Not unprecedented but to have the proposal so soon had caught him off guard. At this point it was becoming abundantly clear that he needed to actually work out the specifics of their dynamic as soon as possible.

“I should probably wear this around my neck.” He said, not exactly to Cree but allowing her input if she wished to continue talking. “Some spells might absorb the metal on this.”

Cree nodded.

“Probably a good idea then.”

There was a beat of silence then she added, “I hope you’ll forgive me for this, but when Lucien told me he had fallen in love with one of your party, you were not the one I imagined.”

Caleb gave her a quiet laugh, trying to balance it to sound good natured rather than nervous.

“I take it I am not his usual preference then?” he asked with a smile.

“No, well,” she paused, “he has gone for humans before but the few times I’ve seen you before this; well I hope you’ll forgive me for saying that you didn’t look that appealing.”

“No, that is fair.” Caleb replied. “And it is by design; there are certain individuals in the Empire who want me dead. I am certain you and our blue friend at least know others in a similar situation, if you are not that way yourselves. I find that it is better to be actively ignored than just blend in, and looking homeless will do that.”

“You’re not at risk here?”

“There is less.”

Cree nodded.

“Well, if you ever require help _dealing_ with these individuals, I do owe you and Lucien a wedding gift.”

A rumble of thunder rolled over their heads and Cree visibly bristled.

“You keep calling Lucien ‘Mollymauk’ by the way, why is that?”

Caleb mentally cursed himself. He really should have collared Molly to discuss the issue of names before he ran off.

“It is the name I met him under, and the one he is currently using. I think he may have grown attached to it. He does not mind if _you_ call him Lucien, but for myself and the others he prefers Mollymauk.”

The part about specifically Cree using the old name was added to make her feel special, and though she was incredibly difficult to read it appeared to have worked. Caleb had to hold himself back from sagging with relief.

A second wave of thunder rolled through the sky, followed by the gradually louder pattering of raindrops. Several of the others cried out, rushing to cover themselves and pull the hoods of their various cloaks up. Cree had shrunk completely into her, clearly not waterproof, robe and was wearing an expression which Caleb had seen several times on Frumpkin while they were at sea.

Molly strode back up to them, pulling up the collar of his also very obviously not waterproof coat in a failing attempt to shield himself from the storm.

“Darling,” he addressed Caleb, “may I suggest that we head back to your lodgings? I don’t think this one is just going to blow over.”

֍

Caleb practically slammed the door of the room he was sharing with Molly once they had both entered, before collapsing against it and allowing himself a deep breath.

“ _Heilig schiesse_.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Molly replied, holding up the tankard he had snagged from downstairs. “Weaver above this was such a bad idea.”

Unable to stop himself, Caleb felt laughter bubble up through his chest.

“Now you say that.” He said between gasps. “ _Now_.”

“I know.” Molly wheezed.

Caleb slid down to the floor, still fighting for breath. For a little less than a minute they were both locked in place, both shaking in an effort not to outright cackle.

“We need to talk,” Caleb said eventually, “about how we do this going forward.”

“Yes.” Molly took a swig of his drink. “Sorry about the proposal by the way, I know we hadn’t really gone into that.”

“No, that was the best time for it, I think. It could have come off as forced if we did it later.”

“Good, and you did get the message about the ‘fire’ thing, yes?”

“Ja,” Caleb nodded, “Fjord seemed a bit uncomfortable when he told me but this is not my first time doing something like this, I understood.”

“Wonderful.” Molly fell silent for approximately three seconds before speaking again, “can I just check, ‘licht’ isn’t a fire thing is it?”

Another thing they should have discussed beforehand. Caleb shook his head.

“Oh, no, it means ‘light’ in common. I could use a different name if you prefer?”

“No, it’s good.” Molly replied. “Thank you for this, I really owe you one.”

Caleb shrugged.

“Kein Problem. We can discuss that when this whole mess is done.”

He stood, offered a hand to Molly and so that he could pull himself up. Molly clasped Caleb’s forearm and rose, stretching once he had let go. As one they turned to look at the bed.

“So then Caleb,” Molly said, “how do you want to do this? Top to tail?”

“I am fairly certain that that was a book title in the Chastity’s Nook.”

Molly’s eyebrows raised. “Well if that’s the case I shall have to drop in when we get back to Zadash. It sounds riveting.”

Caleb coughed. “Ja, well, do not take this personally but I would rather have my back to the wall.”

“Fair enough.” Molly nodded. “I don’t particularly like that side anyway, especially when I’m sharing. Don’t like feeling trapped.”

“Ah.” Caleb abruptly remembered Molly’s rude awakening to the world, clawing his way out of a shallow (but not shallow enough) grave. “Are you having trouble with small spaces? Because I would be happy to take the floor if that would make it easier.”

Molly raised his hands. “No, no. You don’t sleep enough as it is, Nott would kill me if I kicked you out of the bed.”

Caleb briefly considered the implications of sharing a bed with Molly. Despite a mutual acknowledgement of their circumstances, neither of them had made any move to discuss the particulars of their ‘relationship’, a move that may cost them dearly later on. These thoughts were interrupted by a wave of exhaustion, and he slumped onto the bed. Molly paused in unlacing his boots.

“You’re not sleeping like that are you?”

“Always do.”

Molly made an appalled noise.

“At least take your boots off. Someone spent a lot of time cleaning these sheets.”

Caleb debated the merits of pointing out the large stain on the upper quilt, but toed his boots off anyway, letting them fall off the end of the bed with two thuds.

Molly sighed. “I suppose there’s no point in asking you to take the coat or the books off?”

“I would if you asked me to.” Caleb murmured, straining to keep his eyes open, “but I would need somewhere safe for the books and the coat keeps me warm.”

“No kidding.” Molly sounded as if he was smiling. “But I was going to let you have the quilts anyway.”

Caleb looked up. “Mollymauk, it will get much colder before dawn. You will freeze.”

Molly shrugged. “It’s harder to sleep with something on top of me” he said tentatively. “I’m already going to be in a small space, so I might panic if I get caught up in the quilt.”

“Look, try this.” Caleb worked his way out of his coat. “It is made to keep out cold, and it might hold out better than yours if our fire goes out, which it may do in this draft.”

Molly opened his mouth, clearly about to argue, when an even larger gust of wind rattled the window, causing the flames in the hearth to gutter threateningly.

“Fine, but if whatever crap you’ve got in the pockets makes it too uncomfortable I’m taking my chances.”

Caleb did his best to suppress a grin as sleep finally claimed him.

֍

“Caleb.”

Caleb jerked into a sitting position, scrambling back against the headboard. A hand clamped down on his shoulder and he bit down a scream when he turned to see the silhouette of a horned figure in the moonlight.

“Was, was, Molly what is the matter?” his breathing slowed and he paused before continuing, “Did the fire go out?”

A futile question, Caleb realised as he accounted for the darkness. Of course the fire had gone out.

“Here, let me,” he began, shrugging Molly’s hand off and slipping off the end of the bed. He knelt by the hearth and tried to conjure some fire.

“Caleb.”

His shaking hands produced a few sparks, all of which blinked out of existence as soon as they hit what was left of the wood.

“Caleb you don’t need to –ʺ

He finally managed to cup a small flame between his hands, for a few seconds he lowered it towards the ashes. He fed it more magic, but the now dead embers wouldn’t catch.

“Scheisse, _come on_.”

The flame went out entirely when Molly’s hand once again fell on his shoulder.

“Caleb, there’s no point dear.”

Caleb turned to face Molly, abruptly realising that there were tears in his eyes.

“You were thrashing around in your sleep. I’m pretty sure that means you were having a nightmare, so I woke you up”

Molly placed both hands on Caleb’s trembling shoulders, coming down to floor level with him. “I don’t know if this will help, but wherever you were a moment ago; you’re not there anymore. You’re in a nicer than average little tavern room in Nicodranas. I’m here with you and the others are just down the hall.”

Caleb nodded. The words weren’t helping so much as Molly saying them was.

“I’m going to hug you now, is that okay?”

Caleb nodded again, finding himself pressed against Molly’s chest, breathing in the familiar smell of his own coat and something sweeter that he couldn’t quite place. His shaking continued, slowing to a stop when he wrapped his arms tightly around Molly.

“There we go” Molly murmured, “now do you want me to stay or do you want me to go get Nott? She’s only in the next room.”

“No.” Caleb found his voice, though it came out thin and wavering. “I will be okay, just give me a moment. I am sorry for this.”

“Don’t be, nightmares happen sometimes. Besides, you’re very warm.”

Caleb let out a wet chuckle. “At least I am good for something.”

“You’re good for a lot of things my dear.” Molly’s hand moved in slow circles on Caleb’s back. “One of those things will be coming back to bed just as soon as you’ve told me what that was all about. Can you do that?”

“I,” Caleb began, abruptly realising that the smell of smoke was not a remnant of his dream and drawing back, “is something burning?”

“Ah, that.” Molly replied. “You recall that unpleasant stain on the quilt?”

“Ja.”

“Well that’s gone now. So is a lot of the quilt now that I look at it.”

Caleb felt around blindly until he found the smouldering edge of the quilt.

“Scheisse.”

“Indeed.”

“Wait, Mollymauk did I burn you?” Caleb’s hands found Molly’s sides and began patting them down.

“No, you managed to kick me out of the bed before you set it on fire, which is why I woke up in the first place. I usually sleep like the dead.” Molly said. “Anyway, are you able to tell me what that was all about?”

Caleb thought for a moment. Were it not for Beau’s deal, he would have preferred not to tell any member of their group. Maybe Nott; after all they had made a deal to help each other and she wouldn’t have just attacked Trent with no reason (assuming that that was the plan he went with), but he hadn’t intended to bring the others in on it. Following Nott, if he was pressed, Molly was the logical second choice. His connection to Lucien placed him in a position where he would be unable to judge him in an overly harsh manner, and he had said over and over again that he didn’t care for the past.

“I suppose that you of all people need to know, seeing this mess we are in now. And this night may as well get worse before dawn.” Caleb sighed, knowing that the phrasing was not quite correct. “I will leave after I have told you this, if you want.”

“I highly doubt that my dear, but please.” Molly made a ‘go on’ gesture, using his other hand to hold Caleb’s just gently enough to reassure him that he was still there. Despite the darkness, Caleb closed his eyes.

“When I was young, I discovered that I had a gift for magic. I lived in a small village, not very wealthy, not many people. We got by.” Caleb shot a quick glance at Molly, who hadn’t moved. “Anyway, it was a big deal, that I had magic. It is not common that far out, so I could not learn much in the village, but what books we could afford, I tore through. Then one day a man called Trent Ikithon came to the village, from Soltryce Academy.”

“Where Fjord wants to go?” Molly asked in a slow intake of breath.

“Ja, and you must promise me that you will never let him go there. He has too much potential for power. He is an okay person, from what I have seen so far, you agree?”

“He’s certainly seemed that way when we’ve shared a room.”

“He will not leave the academy an okay person, not if they get him as they did me.”

Molly still hadn’t retracted his hand. Caleb took a shuddering breath and continued.

“Myself and two others were selected to attend the academy under the tutoring of this man. We grew very, very powerful, but that power was not without cost. He hurt us, to help us learn. It worked, I have to give him that it worked; he crushed us into a unit. We could have taken anyone, but he had us practise our skills on traitors.”

“Traitors to the empire?” Molly asked.

“Ja. It began with spies, then deserters, then heretics and dissenters. By that time we, or I at least was numb to their screams. Men, women, children did not matter; a traitor is a traitor and a traitor deserves only death. These were not fast deaths, fire is a lot slower than you would think. Not all fire of course, the others preferred different methods, but fire has always been my weapon of choice.” Caleb knew he was shaking again but he didn’t try to stop. “You have seen what I can do, but you cannot fathom what I was once capable of. Terrible, terrible things.”

Molly hadn’t let go.

“We were to graduate, after some time, and we returned to our homes for a final visit. That was when I overheard my parents discussing rebellion. And I knew that traitors must be culled without exception, as did the others, whose parents were also involved.” He gathered himself for what came next. “We went to my house last, leaving four dead in our wake. We pushed a cart up against the only door and I set the house aflame whilst they both slept.”

He was fighting tears again, resolutely looking at the floor despite it being too dark to actually make anything out.

“And after that; I broke. I stopped working. My mind,” he made a wide gesture with his hands, freeing one from Molly’s grasp in the process, “gone, useless, kaputt.”

Molly attempted to take his hand once more, but Caleb slipped away.

“For ten years I was; I do not know how to best describe it. Insane may be the correct word. I was certainly in an asylum for that time.” He took a shaky breath. “I do not know how I came to be there, only that after some time a woman laid her hands on me and I was cured. I did not know her, she herself was insane so I was never able to ask why.”

Caleb fell silent. There was more; his escape, meeting Nott and everything in between, but he couldn’t drag that out of himself now. He was tired, too tired even for the early hour that it must have been.

After what felt like hours, but Caleb knew was only a matter of minutes in reality, Molly spoke again.

“That’s,” he paused, “that’s a lot.”

“Ja.”

Molly nodded slowly before speaking again.

“Do the others know?”

“Only Nott and Beau. And them only because Beau and I made a deal.” Caleb twisted the ring which was still resting on his finger. “I will have to tell Fjord eventually, we also have a deal. Perhaps Yasha.”

“Not Jester?” Molly asked, “Or how about the new guy, Caduceus?”

“I would not be surprised if Caduceus already knows.” Despite everything, Caleb allowed himself something akin to a smirk. “I am certain he has worked something out by now, not much gets past that one.”

“Jester?”

Caleb didn’t speak, letting the sound of the rain fill the space between them. If he was to tell the others in their merry band of assholes he would have to tell Jester eventually. But she still smiled at him when she saw him, still tried to make him laugh, still showed him her drawings of the day’s events. And he knew it was selfish, that telling her would only hurt more the longer he left it. He couldn’t let that friendship go.

“I do not know.” Was all he said to Molly. “Maybe not until I can fix things.”

Molly nodded, staying silent for a few seconds longer before blurting out; “Caleb I’d like to hug you again. Can I do that?”

Caleb’s heart felt as though it was clawing its way up his throat.

“Why?”

“I just need you to stay here whilst I say something.”

Molly drew him close, fitting Caleb’s head underneath his chin and holding his hand again. Caleb felt him sigh before he began talking.

“Look, Caleb, I’ve got to be honest here; I don’t know what to think. I think you should tell the others, but even saying that makes me a colossal hypocrite. We all need our secrets and this is yours, and I appreciate you telling me.”

He paused, just long enough for Caleb to think that he should pull away, before speaking again.

“When I told everyone about my past, and I’m certain you know that I didn’t tell you everything, but,” he shook his head, “but I’m getting away from the point. The point is at that time you said that you believed in second starts. You believed in mine, and in me; the least I can do is believe in yours.”

He drew back, red glowing eyes meeting Caleb’s in the dark.

“This doesn’t make me want to send you away Caleb.”

“It should.”

“You’re trying to fix it?”

“Of course.”

“Then it doesn’t.”

“But why?”

“Look, I’m hardly the best at articulating myself, and I’m sure that Beau and,” Molly cut himself off for a moment, “Beau and Nott have said similar things but you never would have done that if you had known the memories were fake.”

Caleb pulled away entirely, staggering to his feet.

“But I wanted to Mollymauk, I wanted them dead. Whether or not it was real does not change the fact that I wanted to kill them and did, them and so many others, after they gave up so much for me.”

“Look, who’s to say that the memory was the only thing that Trent put into your brain? Aren’t there spells that do that sort of thing?”

There were. Suggestion might have done it, with enough magic poured into it. He hadn’t studied mind magic at the academy; that had always been more the forte of the others. The intricate incantations and speculative methods had always felt uncomfortable to him, leading him to the more physical areas of magic. Things that produced visible results. He couldn’t give himself that excuse though; he had been too strong for that, to smart. 

At Caleb’s lack of speech, Molly sighed once again.

“Just,” he waved a hand, “don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ve thought of that. If you want to go I get it but can you answer a few more questions first?”

Caleb nodded.

“These nightmares, how often do they happen?”

“This was the first in some time.” Caleb replied truthfully. He hadn’t had any in their time at sea.

“Okay. My other question; can I talk to Beau and Nott about this?” At Caleb’s sharp look he raised both hands. “Just in case. I can’t see a situation where it would come up but just in case.”

Caleb’s mind spiralled. If all three of them knew, they all had something against him. The idea of them comparing notes made his skin crawl.

But they had not yet. He had done a great many things that Beau and Nott had objected to, given them many reasons to reveal what he had done to the others. Trust was a word he did not use lightly, if at all, but the closest he could come to using it would have pertained to them.

Molly was an unknown quantity, but for now, at least, they were at a stalemate of sorts. His secret was safe for as long as they had to keep this con going.

“Yes,” he said, keeping his breathing even, “I will tell them that you know, if I get the chance.”

“Thank you.” Molly replied in a rush. “Let me know when you tell them, I won’t breathe a word before then.”

Caleb gave him a single nod.

“Thank you for listening.”

He padded to the wardrobe in the corner of the room and retrieved his old coat, sliding it on like a second skin. He reached for the doorknob, looking briefly back to the side of the bed, where Molly was still sitting.

“I will be back before dawn, do not worry.”

He was going to get something to drink, he decided. Something strong. Then he was going to stand out in the rain for long enough that he could think about something other than the conversation he had just had.

“There’s space for you in the bed when you get back, if you want it.” Molly said, barely audible above the hammering of water on the roof.

Caleb nodded his thanks, then stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, that's another one up. Thank you all so much for your comments and kudos <3
> 
> I'm not sure how episode 48 will wind up affecting this fic, I'm hoping that it won't but I haven't had the chance to watch it yet. Most likely the events of this fic will happen sort of between 47 and 48, unless anything happens in episode 48 that means I absolutely have to deviate from that plan.
> 
> Love to you all, hopefully see you soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Molly awoke the following morning to an empty bed and for a moment his heart sank. If Caleb had abandoned him now, or even if he had just passed out in a gutter somewhere, the con was up.

Deciding that at the very least he needed to find out which of these had happened, he swung his legs out of bed and nearly kicked Caleb in the face. He looked almost peaceful in the morning light which was just now beginning to crawl through the window. Molly let out a slow breath and gingerly stepped around him wincing when his bare foot touched a wet patch on the rug. Closer inspection revealed Caleb to be completely soaked, an unfortunate fact that thankfully eliminated the alternative sources of moisture which would have been significantly less pleasant to step in.

Wiping his feet on a dry bit of rug, Molly cast around for his boots. His eyes landed instead on a figure slumped over the tiny desk at one end of the room. Though to the undiscerning eye it may have appeared to be a sodden mass of feathers, to Molly this was unmistakably a friend.

Picking up the poker from beside the hearth, and standing well back, Molly tapped Yasha on the shoulder.

“Argh!”

She was on her feet in an instant, sword wheeling around her in a series of swift arcs. She came to a stop, breathing heavily.

“Well good morning to you too darling.” Molly said, setting the poker down again. “I hope you slept well; that desk doesn’t look very comfortable.”

Yasha’s face softened and the sword clattered to the floor.

“Molly?”

He spread his arms.

“In the flesh darling.”

Yasha surged forward and swept him into a crushing hug, pinning his arms to his sides. She shook as they stood, tears forming a damp patch on Molly’s shoulder.

“Shhh, it’s good to see you too dear.” He pried an arm loose to pat her on the back. “You’ve gotten faster since I last saw you.”

Yasha made a sound somewhere between a sob and a giggle, then pulled back to actually look at him.

“You’re alive.”

“So are you.” Molly inclined his head to her. “I’ll admit, I was worried when you weren’t with the others earlier. They told me that you got out but it’s good to see that for myself.”

“It’s good to see you also, I,” she stopped, considering her next words, “the last I saw of you was your grave. When Jester told me that you were back I did not believe her.”

“You spoke to her?”

“Yesterday, I heard her voice in my head.”

Molly felt his face pulling into a grin. “Was her message as long winded as usual?”

“Longer.”

“Ha! Wonderful.”

“She mentioned some other things as well.” Yasha said, brow furrowed.

Molly felt a crawling feeling scurry up his spine. He had not been looking forward to this discussion, particularly since the plan managed to sound more stupid each time he actually said anything about it.

“I asked Caleb about it when I found him last night but he was not talking much.”

“I don’t imagine he would have been dear.” Molly replied. “Yesterday was rather tiring.”

Yasha nodded slowly.

“Okay. He said that I could stay in here tonight. If that’s weird I can go and we could talk downstairs.”

“Why would it be weird?”

“Well,” Yasha said looking supremely uncomfortable, “Jester said that you and Caleb were engaged.”

Molly coughed.

“Right, that. How much did Jester say about that exactly?”

“If I’m remembering it was something like,” she pitched her voice in an imitation of Jester, “ _’hello Yasha, I hope you’re doing okay. So you should know that Molly’s back and also him and Caleb are like kind of engaged but’_ and then the message ended.”

“That sounds about right.” Molly said with a sigh. He was trying to articulate the plan in his mind in order to explain it to Yasha and once again only coming up with thoughts of how foolish the whole affair was. Maybe Caleb could help him explain.

“When did you bring him in?”

Yasha’s brow creased slightly as she appeared to be thinking for a moment.

“Two, maybe three hours ago? I lost track after I fell asleep.”

Molly wasn’t going to wake him up to help explain; he couldn’t remember Caleb ever being a morning person so he wouldn’t be much help yet.

“Very well my darling.” Molly said, pulling back slightly. “You’re probably going to want to sit back down for this.”

֍

“That’s a lot.”

Molly nodded. Yasha had been, for the most part, silent throughout his tale; how he had stumbled away from the grave on the Glory Run Road until he had collapsed. How he had woken once again, mind foggy but just coherent enough to find the note and read it. This had been Yasha’s only interruption, a brief congratulations that he could now read. He had continued to explain the slow process of remembering, stumbling his way back to Zadash, and the series of monumental fuck ups that had led to his current circumstances.

“It certainly is.” He replied.

“And you didn’t just tell her the truth?”

“Because she has our blood and I don’t know how she’d react, but I’m working on that.” Molly lowered his voice, “yesterday I destroyed one of the phials she had. She doesn’t have Beau’s blood anymore. If I can get the rest of them then it will be safe to tell her, well, safer.”

Yasha shook her head.

“It’s too dangerous Molly. We don’t know the extent of her power.”

“But I’ve got a fairly solid idea –”

Molly was interrupted by a series of knocks on the door. He looked Yasha in the eye, raised his eyebrows and brought a finger to his lips. She nodded and placed one hand on the hilt of her sword. As quietly as she could manage, she positioned herself behind the door. Molly let their visitor wait for another moment before walking to the door.

“Molly! Caleb! I know you’re in here so open the door.” Jester’s voice pierced through the wood and Molly felt himself practically deflate as he reached for the latch.

“Seriously you guys if you don’t let me in I’ll use Thaumatergy, oh. Hi Molly!” Jester greeted him before bounding into the room.

“Why is Caleb on the floor?”

“Because I was studying spells last night and did not make it to bed.” Caleb replied, propping himself up on his elbows. Molly felt his tail stiffen at the thought that perhaps Caleb had been awake the whole time. He hadn’t exactly told Yasha anything he wasn’t comfortable sharing, but he would have preferred to tell the others at a different pace.

“Jester you seem to have missed one.” Caleb nodded his head towards Yasha.

“Who – Yasha!” Jester cried, flinging herself at the taller woman. Yasha returned the hug with a fond smile.

“It is good to see you Jester. Molly has been telling me some crazy things.”

“Oh my goodness, yes. You know how him and Caleb are, like, engaged now right?”

“To stop Cree from getting mad and using our blood against us, yes.”

“Yeah, yeah, totally.” Jester said waving a hand. She turned to Molly, shooting a quick glance between him and Caleb.

“So like, you guys were taking really long to so I had to make Cree think that you were having, like, the most _crazy_ reunion sex _ever_.”

“You could have told her just about anything else, dear.” Molly found himself responding. There was no malice in it, at least he hoped there wasn’t, but their scheme had just got that little bit more complicated.

Jester ploughed on.

“So basically you need to look like that is what happened when you come down. I have my makeup with me if you think that would help.”

“Thank you liebling,” Caleb replied, “but it might be for the best if we can come up with something else. Something which will not come off if it rains again.”

“Speaking of rain, would you like to take Yasha down with you?” Molly asked.

Yasha walked to the window, opened it and swung a leg out.

“It’s probably best that it doesn’t look like I could have been with you.”

“Oh, I do not know about that,” Caleb said in a tired voice, finally pushing himself up from the floor, “a threesome sounds like pretty crazy reunion sex to me.”

Molly choked back a laugh. Best not to make too much noise, the last thing they needed was nosy neighbours.

Yasha actually grinned at Caleb’s remark, and gave them a slow, deliberate wink. Then she swung her other leg out of the window and disappeared from sight.

“You had better go downstairs Jester; if you are gone too long it may seem as if you were peeping.” Caleb suggested.

Jester nodded and bounded to the door.

“See you guys down there. Take as _long_ as you need.”

She waved her fingers before disappearing from the doorway with a giggle. Molly found himself shaking his head with a smile. Weaver, he’d missed Jester.

“Any ideas?” he asked, turning to Caleb. “I’m sure that she’s going to give us some lofty expectations to live up to.”

“I could cast an illusion.” Caleb replied after a while. “It would not be ideal, but anything else; well, I would not want you to be uncomfortable.”

“That depends what it was you were going to suggest, I’m sure it’s not that bad. Let’s hear it.”

Caleb shook his head. “It was a stupid idea. Forget it.”

Molly folded his arms. It had been too long since he had participated in any ridiculousness.

“Mister Caleb, may I remind you of my last interaction with scrambled eggs? I’m certain there are stupider ideas out there.”

Caleb gave him a weak smile.

“Very well. I was going to suggest that you bite me.”

Molly very abruptly found himself possessed of a non-functioning brain. Oh sure, he had established that Caleb was off limits some time ago (something the conversation of the previous night had only affirmed), but the column of Caleb’s throat, currently bared for the world to see, was making a very convincing counter argument.

“If it is too much then I understand, but it would seem very possessive on your part, and would go with what Jester is no doubt telling the others as we speak.” Caleb stumbled on, oblivious to Molly’s momentary moral crisis. “That and it would show up well on my skin; it would be difficult for Cree to argue with something like that.”

“No, I agree.” Molly replied. This wasn’t going to get weird; he wasn’t going to let it. There was nothing strange about a bit of platonic biting among friends.

֍

Molly prided himself on being a person with no shame.

That being said, the closest he would ever come to embarrassment was hearing Jester’s impression of what he and Caleb might have sounded like in bed.

He doubted the patrons of the Lavish Chateau were strangers to noises of pleasure; a fact which only made it more remarkable that Jester had managed to draw just about every eye in the room with her wailing. That and the fact that she currently looked like a member of the lizardfolk, which were rather uncommon on this side of the continent.

Caleb looked as if he would very much not like to enter the bar. Quite possibly because his scarf, which could have covered the blooming bruises on his neck, had remained in their room, making it quite obvious that it was them Jester was currently parodying.

“She needs to work on her accent.” Caleb murmured as a particularly impressive shriek flew through the air. “I do not sound like that.”

Molly bit his tongue in an attempt not to laugh. Caleb was fidgeting, shifting from foot to foot as if he was about to break into a sprint.

“We could leave, if you want.” He offered. “Disappear for a bit, let Cree think we’ve run off for a honeymoon somewhere. It’d give us a break from pretending.”

“Nein.” Caleb shook his head. “I would not want to leave the rest in this mess alone.”

Molly felt as though a particularly strong wind had just battered him from all sides. Prior to his death, he had heard Caleb muttering to himself, or perhaps to Frumpkin, of plans to leave. Even after Yasha, Jester and Fjord had gone, Caleb had been glancing at the road behind them with a certain amount of longing. The change wasn’t something Molly could say he was upset about; quite the opposite in fact, but he had to wonder what had caused it.

“Very well.” He offered Caleb his arm. “Shall we?”

The second they stepped through the door it was as if a mask had dropped over Caleb’s face. He stood tall, with a purpose that practically demanded those around him to comment, but only if they held no particular regard for the continued partnership of their limbs and their torso. Molly did his best to mirror this, clicking the heels of his boots against the floorboards just so. Few eyes left them until they had reached the table the others were gathered around.

“I hope we haven’t missed the whole show Jester.” Molly said, pulling up a chair. “From what I heard you hadn’t even got to the good part yet.”

Jester cackled and he took the opportunity to shoot Beau, who looked positively anaemic in that moment, a wink. She stood up and quietly excused herself and Molly’s tail coiled in delight. He leaned over to Caleb, keeping his eyes lidded as he whispered in his ear.

“Tell Beauregard she’s lost the game, won’t you dear?”

Caleb’s face flushed, as if Molly had just suggested something obscene, but he gave a small nod, drew a length of copper wire from his sleeve and wrapped it between his thumb and little finger.

“ _Mitteilung_.” He whispered.

Taking that as a cue, Molly turned to Cree, who looked about as uncomfortable as he felt.

“Cree dear, how are you doing this fine morning?” he asked, trying his damndest to sound like someone who had gotten seven different kinds of laid the night prior. From the look on her face, it was working.

“Well, thank you Lucien.” She replied, toying with the buckle on the strap of her bag and very pointedly not looking him in the eye. “I hope you can excuse me but I will have to leave soon; I have business on behalf of our blue friend, er,” her eyes flicked to Jester, who currently had an improbably long tongue lolling from her mouth, “our _other_ blue friend.”

“Yes, I seem to recall.” Molly replied. He was talking out of his arse of course; he remembered no such thing. “Well if you require any help from us do shout, I’m sure we’ll be in town for a little while yet. Until the wedding at least. That reminds me, Jester; when did you say the room would be available?”

“About three weeks I think.” She replied, tongue still trailing. “I can try and push it up if you guys want though.”

“Three weeks is perfect dear.” He turned back to Caleb. “What do you think love? We could turn it into a sort of pre-emptive honeymoon?”

“That sounds perfect mein licht.” Caleb gave him a soft smile before leaning into him and whispering; “Beau says that you can go fuck yourself, and that the victory does not count if Jester won it for you.”

“Darling, not in public!” he gasped, doing his best to sound utterly scandalised. “Not in present company at least.”

“It is nothing they have not heard before _liebling_.” Caleb replied with a smirk which should have been made illegal in the name of public decency, loosening his shirt collar with no apparent care for the fact that this unveiled the teeth-marks.

Molly looked away in an attempt to forget how Caleb’s pulse had fluttered under his tongue, taking the opportunity to sweep a quick glance around those gathered at their table. Cree looked as if she was about to bolt, which was good; the more uncomfortable she was the more she would avert her eyes and the more he could get away with. Caduceus was difficult to read but seemed to be taking the situation in stride, Fjord was sitting as if he’d had a sword shoved somewhere unmentionable. Jester was a lizard, but he got the strong impression that if her current form had had eyebrows they would have been waggling furiously.

One of Nott’s eyes was twitching. Molly decided to ask Caleb to explain before he had to spend any time alone with her.

“Am I interrupting anything?”

Yasha, the angel that she was, loomed over their table before anyone decided to comment.

“Yasha, darling!” Molly stood, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I’m so happy to see you’re alright.”

“Yes.” Yasha replied, clearly remembering that this was supposed to be her first time seeing him alive in months, bless her. “I’m glad to see that you made it back to us. I was hoping you’d do it again, but I couldn’t stand if you stayed _there_.”

Molly scrambled for words for a moment, but Caleb saved him any awkward spluttering by directing a question at Yasha himself.

“ _₰ʤƪζ_ _ʤƪϣƍɮƍƏ_ _ζⱴ_ _Ƿⱴƻΰ_ ؿ _ƍʢ_? _Ƿⱴƻ_ _ƪΰƍ_ _₰ƪ_ ؿ _δ_ ٩ _ɮʢ_ _ϗζΰƪɮʢƍ_ ؿ _Ƿ_.”

“٩ _ĕƪƻʢʤζ_ _ϐǷϗƍ_ ؿ _ǥ_ _ⱴɮ_ _ζʤƍ_ _₰_ ٩ _ɮƏⱴ₰ϗ_ ٩ ؿ _ƪɮƏ_ _ǥƍ_ ؿ.” Yasha replied, looking sheepish.

Caleb let out a bark of laughter, before continuing.

“ _₰ƍ_ _₰_ ٩ﺉ _ʢƍζ_ _ζʤƪζ_ ﺉ _ⱴⱴδƍƏ_ _ƪζ_ _ζʤƍɮ_. _ĕⱴƻ_ ﺉ _Ə_ _Ƿⱴƻ_ ﺉ _ⱴⱴϐ_ _ⱴƻƍΰ_ _ζʤƍ_ _ĕƪζ_ _ϣƍ_ r _ϗⱴɮ_ _ƪ_ ؏٩ _ζ_ _ϣ_ ﺉ _ƍƪϗƍ_? ٩ _₰ⱴƻ_ ﺉ _Ə_ ﺉ٩ _δƍ_ _ƪ_ ؏ _ΰƍƪδ_ _ǥ_ r _ΰⱴϐ_ _ϣΰƍζƍɮƏ_ ٩ _ɮʢ_ _ζⱴ_ ؏ _ƍ_ ﺉ _ⱴƻƍϗ_ ٩ _ĕδ_ , _ƪɮƏ_ ٩ _ζʤ_ ٩ _ɮδ_ _ϗʤƍ_ _₰_ ٩ﺉ _ʢⱴ_ ٩ _ǥ_ _Ƿⱴƻ_ _ʢ_ ﺉ _ⱴ_ w _ƍΰ_.”

“My angel, you know how hot and bothered you speaking Celestial gets me, but would you mind sticking to languages the rest of us can understand?” Molly interrupted their exchange. In reality hearing spoken Celestial made his eardrums itch uncontrollably, which was a shame since he had been told that it was a beautiful language. Yasha had informed him once that Infernal spoken casually (since Infernal insults tended to manifest more painfully) had a similar effect for her.

“Another thing to keep private then? Death has made you modest mien herz.” Caleb asked with a wry smile and a raised eyebrow. “I think I might like that, you know. That there are aspects of you which only I get to see.”

Molly felt something like electricity skitter from the tip of his tail to the base of his skull. He took a brief moment to thank the Moonweaver that Caleb was only acting, and that he had not used this kind of flirting for nefarious purposes yet.

Cree coughed.

“Yes, well I, I ought to be going. There’s a contact in the city that our mutual friend has been trying to get on our side for years. I’ve managed to book an appointment and I’d best not be late.” She excused herself, standing.

“Why don’t you take my seat?” she asked Yasha, leaving her chair pulled out. “Lucien, will you join me for dinner later? There are a few things I’d like to discuss.”

“Of course I will dear.” Molly responded, kicking himself for not being able to come up with an excuse faster. “I’d be very interested to hear about this friend of our mutual friend.”

Cree gave him a sharp nod, then turned to leave. She walked out of the bar with about the same speed that Beau had left the table with earlier. Molly tried to catch a look at her tail, to see if it could offer any insight into her thoughts. It appeared to be lashing back and forth, which didn’t tell him as much as he had hoped it would. She could have just been anxious about ensuring this new contact for the gentleman, and it wasn’t as if he could rely on tabaxis and tieflings to have the same tail language.

He sat back down as Yasha did, and as Caleb was leaning over to whisper something to Caduceus. A smile played on Caduceus’ lips as he replied in a murmur which made his already rumbling voice sound even more impressive. He waited for a break in their conversation before leaning in to the group once again.

“So, any suggestions going forward?” he asked the others. “Were we laying it on a bit thick, or should we turn it up a notch.”

“You were revolting.” Beau cut in, returning to the table with all the grace of an owlbear ballet, “but if you’re talking about the stuff with Caleb then more of the same should work.”

“I did not see much, but you did seem fairly ‘lovesick’ as Caleb put it.” Yasha said, accepting a plate of food which Fjord had shoved in her direction. “Maybe a bit more physical contact?”

Caleb brought up an arm to rest loosely across Molly’s shoulders. “Not a bad plan Yasha, something like this?”

“That might work, yes.”

“Not that you’ll need it whilst she’s gone.” Fjord suggested. “It can’t be comfortable keeping that up.”

“It is not, but we cannot eliminate the chance that there are others watching us. We cannot have Cree asking around and hearing that Mollymauk and I bolt apart the second she has gone. Obviously we do not have to be glued to each other, but when we are in the same room it would be better to keep up appearances.”

Damn. Caleb made a good point, but Molly could tell that this was going to get exhausting. And they had to do this for three weeks! He was going to go insane before a week and a half if they had to keep this up at all hours.

“Do we at least have something to do whilst we’re here?” he asked, hoping for an excuse to spend some time apart.

“Well there’s always wedding planning,” Jester began, only to be interrupted by a chorus of emphatic ‘no’s. “I’m serious you guys, if I get this right then the Traveller will give me some really cool new powers.”

“We can manage that as well Jester, but I don’t think that’ll take three weeks.” Fjord replied.

“We had an idea.” Nott spoke up, drawing every eye to her in the process. She had yet to activate any kind of magical disguise, leaving her with just the usual mask and the people around her to conceal her goblinoid appearance from strangers.

“Me and Caleb were talking the night before last, while the rest of you were finding clothes, and we thought, well,” she shifted in place, suddenly uncomfortable in the attention of the others, “we thought that we should get Jester un-banished.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, this is a bit longer than it was supposed to be, but no complaints from me.
> 
> Thank you all again for your amazing comments <3 I'm really happy that you're having as much fun with this as I am.
> 
> [Here's the guide to the celestial I used here.](http://moonblooch.tumblr.com/post/182871058585/languages-in-my-fic)


	5. Chapter 5

Caleb leant over to Caduceus when he had the chance, keeping his voice low so as not to alert the others.

“Yasha has hurt herself. Nothing major hopefully, but she landed badly jumping out of a second floor window. Could you take a look at that please?”

“We’ll fix that later, yeah? When we’re somewhere more quiet.” Caduceus replied with a small smile. “How are you doing Caleb? You want me to fix that thing you’ve got there?”

“Ah,” Caleb’s hand flew to his neck, suddenly self-conscious. The bite had been a stupid, spur of the moment idea on his part, one that he still could not believe they had gone through with. At least it seemed to have worked.

“Nein, it should be okay. We wanted to make Cree uncomfortable and I could not think of anything much more uncomfortable than seeing something like this.”

Caduceus nodded.

“Well you’re not wrong, but be careful with that sort of thing. And this acting stuff too; something about it just doesn’t sit quite right.”

Caleb hummed in agreement before returning his attention to the rest of their group, who were listening with rapt attention as Nott went over their plan.

“So we need somewhere safe to return to, right? Nicodranas could be good for that. It’s not in the Empire, and it’s far away from Xhorhas, plus we’ve got a ship to get away on if we need to.”

“No offense Nott, but I think we fucked that one up when we killed a bunch of pirates and stole their ship.” Beau pointed out with all the enthusiasm of someone commenting on the weather. Only the brief flicker of her eyes in Molly’s direction gave away that she had been waiting to drop that revelation on him.

Molly, who had been taking a swig of someone else’s drink with what might have been the worst timing possible in this situation, spat his mouthful back into the tankard, spluttering as he did so.

“Beg pardon, _what_?” he asked between coughs.

“Oh, nothing big.” Jester answered him. “We were just pirates for a little bit whilst you were gone is all.”

“We can give you the full details later,” Beau continued, “but the short version of it is that we went out to sea to figure out what the deal was with those weird balls Fjord’s been eating.”

“Please don’t say it like that.” Fjord begged from behind his hands.

“Then we met this crazy pirate captain, Avantica. This coat was hers,” Beau gestured to Avantika’s coat, still draped around her shoulders, “and then she filled us in on what the deal with the balls is. Turns out they’re eyeballs.”

“You know I was _so_ hoping that you were going to say something else there.” Molly interjected with a wicked grin, and Caleb found himself fighting a smile.

“I _know_ , can you even _imagine_!” Jester replied with a giggle.

“So yeah, turns out the eyes belong to some giant evil snake thing called Uk’otoa. We followed Avantika to this island run by snake people who, weirdly, didn’t worship the eyeball snake. Then we broke into this temple of theirs and Avantika put the ball that she’d swallowed into some kind of hole.”

Several people at the table snorted, including Beau who had been relating that part of the story.

“Anyway, to cut to the important shit; we nearly died when putting the ball in the hole made this huge flood of water spurt out from underground –”

Several more snorts echoed from around the table.

“– got banned from being pirates by the Plank King himself, and the world is now one dumbass with a weird orb away from having a giant evil snake break free and kill everything.”

Molly sat in silence for a second.

“Well, you lot have obviously been busy.”

“You can say that again.” Nott replied, before taking a decisive swig from her flask.

“Speaking of dumbasses with weird orbs though,” Fjord paused when a few of those present giggled, “now come on, I didn’t even say ‘balls’.”

 “You just did.” Jester pointed out, lizard tongue staying strangely still despite her quiet cackling.

“Yeah, alright. Look, Molly, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. When we were in the temple there were like these big carvings on the walls.” He gestured with his hands as if to indicate largeness. “One of them had Uk’otoa on it but there were two others, I think they were a bird and some kind of worm-thing.” He looked to Caleb as if for confirmation.

“Ja.” He replied. His exact memory of their time in the temple was unusually hazy, due mostly to the fact that he had spent most of his time there high as a kite on whatever substance was in the strange fruit. “Uk’otoa with amber eyes, a bird with onyx eyes, and a worm with ivory eyes.”

“Right, and you’ll notice eyes seem to be a recurring theme here.” Fjord continued, returning his focus to Molly. “We were kind of wondering if maybe you remembered anything about a bird or a worm, what with your tattoos and all.”

Molly stayed still, clearly thinking. The tip of his tail flicked an inconsistent rhythm as he did so, perhaps marking the process of his thoughts and picking up each time an idea struck him. This was pure speculation on Caleb’s part, and he made a mental note to ask Frumpkin about what it might mean later, when he had had the chance to summon him again. He had held off so far in an attempt to maintain a calm and collected image in front of Cree; he knew that if Frumpkin was present he would have petted him out of nervous habit and he couldn’t afford for her to pick up on any of his stress.

“Nothing I can think of I’m afraid, and don’t think I’m going to let that dumbass comment slide.” Molly eventually replied. “But I seriously don’t like the sound of either, and if the other guy was involved then I want nothing to do with them.”

“Fair enough.” Fjord replied with a nod, leaning back.

A few seconds ticked by before Caduceus broke the silence.

“Nott, what was it you were saying about absolving Jester of her, uh, criminal status here? It’s a good idea, but I think we all got a bit side-tracked there.”

Nott nodded.

“We should probably just convince the man who Jester tricked to get rid of her bounty. I don’t know if we could get away with killing a nobleman.”

“We have before.” Caleb pointed out before he could stop himself, regretting it immediately when alarm showed on Caduceus’ face. “Obviously that was not technically us, and I am not saying that it is a good idea here, but it is not terrible as back up.”

“Maybe we could use that as a threat?” Yasha offered. “You know, we did it before so we could do it to you, that sort of thing.”

 “Could work, but I don’t know if we want to expose ourselves like that.” Beau said, taking a swig from one of the tankards which was working its way around the table. “I could always try the Cobalt Soul thing, but I don’t know how much that would mean to him. What’s this guy’s name anyway?”

“Lord Robert Sharp.” Jester whispered. “But I think we should have a code name for when we’re talking about him.”

“Oh, like with ‘Tiffany’?” Caduceus asked.

“Yeah, like that.” Jester replied, nodding her head rapidly. “But like, we’ve already used Tiffany, so not that.”

Molly leaned into Caleb, and Caleb felt a tingle skitter across his skin. He cursed himself; of course he was coming down with a fever, what else could he expect after standing out in the rain for several hours? He could only hope that it would not impede his ability to act convincingly.

“Tiffany?” Molly whispered.

“It was a thing with the pirates, I can explain later if you would like?” Caleb whispered back.

“Please do.”

“So anyway,” Jester was saying as Caleb’s attention returned to her, “What can we call him?”

“How about ‘Blunt’?” Fjord suggested. “Opposite of sharp.”

“Sure, nobody will guess that.” Beau said dryly.

“James Blunt.” Nott offered. “It will be less suspicious if we give him a full name.”

The group fell quiet for a moment.

“Yeah.” Fjord finally broke the silence with a shrug. “That’ll work. So what’s the plan?”

֍

They had begun by splitting into two teams, in order to give Molly and him a much needed break from acting like idiots. They had parted at the door to the Lavish Chateaux with a kiss, and Caleb had tried his best to seem as if he was not running in the opposite direction at the first chance. He had then followed Jester, trailed by Nott and Fjord, to what he was assuming to be one of Nicodranas’ classier districts, where they eventually stood at the fence outside the house of Lord Sharp.

That was perhaps the most surprising thing about it; that it was just a house. A nice house, certainly, maybe larger than the average house, but still very much a house.

“You sure this is the right place Jester?” Fjord asked.

“Oh yeah, I think he maybe lived somewhere else a little bit more fancy before the balcony thing, but mama said that this was the right address.” Jester replied, tilting her head to one side to get a better look through the wrought iron fence in a way which made the tongue of her still reptilian form loll out.

“Should we go in?” Nott asked, “I could pick the lock on the gates and we could try to talk to him.”

“Do you think he’ll be in now though? It’s like midday.”

“Twelve forty five actually.” Caleb muttered, purely out of habit. Fjord shot him a look which seemed to be conveying the non-verbal equivalent of ‘shut up’. He flipped him off, allowing himself a small smile when Fjord returned the gesture.

“Of course he will Jester,” Nott replied, thankfully ignoring them, “rich people don’t work. They think stuff like that is beneath them.”

“I’m all in favour of getting in there,” Fjord interjected, “but can y’all actually see a gate to pick the lock on?”

They glanced around, searching all of the visible fence for an entrance. After approximately eight seconds with no success, they turned back to each other.

“Kein tor.”

“What Caleb said.”

“There’s definitely no gate you guys.”

“See that’s what I thought.” Fjord said. “That’s not standard round here, right Jester?”

“Nope.” She replied, popping the ‘p’ in the word.

“’Course that doesn’t stop us from just climbing over.” Fjord reached for one of the railings, only to have Jester slap his hand away.

“It could be dangerous. What if the reason that there’s no gate is because you have to say, like, a spell or something to get in?” she hissed.

“Yeah, you can’t just go around touching stuff.” Nott added.

“Wow, okay, coming from _you_ Nott –”

“Nothing I’ve ever touched has taken me to an alternate dimension with a _dragon_ in it _Fjord_.”

“Could we keep it quiet, please?” Caleb asked in a hushed voice, casting his eyes up and down the street they were on. It was quiet for now, but the lack of people would only make them more noticeable if they started arguing.

“Look, I will cast Detect Magic and we will see if this fence is magic, then if it is not we can think about going in, does that sound good?”

After each of the others had made some sort of affirmative sound, Caleb ran his hands through the air and mouthed the words which he had long since memorised, not daring to speak above a whisper in case there was some kind of surveillance spell in place. Once the haze of the spell had washed over his vision he looked around them, taking in as much of the area as he could.

“Oh ja, the fence is enchanted with an electric shock spell. Very, very powerful; enough to blow your arm off.” He informed the others, despite the fact that the only remarkable thing about this particular fence was how utterly not magic it was.

Fjord narrowed his eyes.

“Are you fucking with me Caleb?”

“Fjord, look me in the eyes.” Caleb replied, well aware that his eyes were still glowing with the crackling remains of Detect Magic. “Would I lie to you about this?”

Fjord’s eyes narrowed even further.

“There does appear to be something faint coming from the house.” Caleb continued, turning to Jester and Nott.

There were actually two somethings in range of the spell, with the hints of a third if he stepped closer to the border of the property. If Lord Sharp was old money then it would not have been unreasonable for him to have some magic items lying around. What was slightly more concerning was the fourth signature, coming from beneath the garden. He relayed this to the others.

“Could just be left over from that genie thing?” Fjord suggested. “We don’t know how far in the tunnels go, do you reckon this could be some sort of border to make sure he couldn’t get out?”

“Maybe, but it does not look like restrictive magic.” Caleb replied. “At a guess it could be divine, but if so then it is not from a deity that I would know.”

“What does it look like?” Jester asked. “Maybe I would know it.”

Caleb faltered trying to find the correct words.

“Sparkly, kind of? It looks a bit like, you know when light hits a black bird’s feathers from a certain angle, it keeps shifting when I try to get a good look at it. There is a bit of green in there, I think.”

Jester nodded along as he spoke.

“Well, it sounds a little bit like the Traveller, but I don’t know that for sure. I can ask him tonight though.”

“So what do we do if it is him?” Nott asked her. “Does that mean he wants us to go under the house?”

“Probably.” Jester replied.

“Could mean the way in is under the house, if you think he’s trying to tell you something.” Fjord offered. “Maybe we could do a quick walk of the perimeter, see if there’s another way in. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go in through the tunnels, could be all sorts down there.”

They paired off, Fjord strolling north with Jester and agreeing to meet Caleb and Nott on the other side of the property. Once they had rounded the first corner, Nott turned to Caleb.

“Did Molly hurt you?”

“Was, oh, nein.” Caleb thought wistfully of the scarf which he had left draped over the chair in their room. “It was my idea, I thought that it would make Cree uncomfortable and that if she was uncomfortable she would not pay as much attention to us if we screwed up.”

“Alright.” Nott nodded slowly. “But if he ever hurts you for real, you tell me. I’m happy that he’s back but he’s not getting away with something like that.”

“I am glad that he is back as well.” Caleb replied, glad for the chance to change the subject. “Though _how_ he is back worries me. And why he forgot everything the first time but not the second. I just feel like I am missing something.”

Nott hummed in agreement.

“There is a spell, well, it might not be a spell. But there’s a kind of magic that can bring people back. Sometimes different to how they were.”

“Oh ja, _necromancy_.” Caleb almost spat the word. He had heard stories in his time with the Cerberus Assembly, terrible things, enough to have an intimate understanding of why it was illegal within the empire. Of course certain members of the Assembly had certain privileges; Caleb had seen his first zombie in his third year under Archmage Ikithon, a man he had helped to kill mere days before. The sight still plagued him in his dreams, when those dreams were not filled with flames.

“As far as I am aware that would only produce undead, which Caduceus has said that he is not.” He continued. “There was nothing strange about him the last time I used Detect Magic either, so this must be something else.”

“There could just be a god that really likes him.” Nott suggested as they rounded another corner. “That’s probably the nicest option.”

“Then we will hold out hope that he just has a friend in a high place.” He replied. “That is certainly the best option.”

Whilst they had not found any evidence of a gate, they did encounter Jester and Fjord halfway along the next section of fence.

“Any luck?” Fjord asked them.

“Nothing.” Nott answered.

“We would probably stand the best chance by just knocking.” Caleb suggested. “I would not want to go in there without the others, but we could try the diplomatic approach first”

“And then we can break in through the tunnels if that doesn’t work?” Jester asked.

“Sure, why not?” Fjord replied. “We could come in pretending to be looking for work, then when we actually meet the guy Jester can apologise and we can offer to do something to get her bounty lifted.”

Jester nodded. “That actually sounds like it could work. And we don’t even have to kill anybody.”

“Don’t jinx it.” Nott hissed, prompting quiet laughter from the other three.

“So what do we do now?” Caleb asked eventually. They had been loitering for too long, and were not due to meet up with the others for at least another two and a half hours.

“Now,” Jester proclaimed, grabbing Fjord’s arm and pulling him along behind her with a great deal of purpose, “we go shopping.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's another one folks! Two updates in one weekend, yay! (/^▽^)/
> 
> Thank you all so, so much for your lovely comments, it makes my whole day every time one comes in. I know I haven't been to hot on replying to them lately, but I'm going to try and answer a bunch soon.
> 
> Lots of love til next time <3

**Author's Note:**

> So I've had this idea rattling around for a while, and I don't have the entire thing planned out yet, but here's chapter 1. Chapter 2 will be posted when I finish chapter 3 and so on. 
> 
> Assuming that the entire site doesn't entirely collapse in on itself, you can find me on tumblr, also at moonblooch.


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